The oxymoron museum. A series of apparent contradictions.

USPness: 1. The degree to which a product or service has a unique selling proposition. 2. Ill-advised addition of the –ness suffix to a glib acronym about brands trying to be distinctive, only to produce a word that sounds like an American phallus. (see USP)

Branter: 1. Brand banter; social chat between a brand and its audience. 2. More errant twaddle from the online world, suggesting once again that customers spend their entire time having witty conversations with products that they care sod all about, doubtless whilst engaging in a customer journey. (see Advertainment; Chatvertising)

Onboarding: 1. Getting someone on board. 2. Nasty expression for explaining to a new recruit what on earth their job involves, by which time it is usually too late to decline.

BYOD: 1. Bring your own device. 2. The last thing people should do if they are planning to have an effective meeting, or a conversation with their other half.