USPness: 1. The degree to which a product or service has a unique selling proposition. 2. Ill-advised addition of the –ness suffix to a glib acronym about brands trying to be distinctive, only to produce a word that sounds like an American phallus. (see USP)
Branter: 1. Brand banter; social chat between a brand and its audience. 2. More errant twaddle from the online world, suggesting once again that customers spend their entire time having witty conversations with products that they care sod all about, doubtless whilst engaging in a customer journey. (see Advertainment; Chatvertising)
Onboarding: 1. Getting someone on board. 2. Nasty expression for explaining to a new recruit what on earth their job involves, by which time it is usually too late to decline.
Alternative facts: 1. A euphemism for lies. 2. On January 22nd 2017, Donald Trump counselor Kellyanne Conway described White House press secretary Sean Spicer’s falsehoods about attendance at the inauguration as “alternative facts.”