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Category Archives: Bullshit

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Adhocracy:

Posted on December 27, 2012 by Kevin

Adhocracy: 1. Management that reacts to urgent problems rather than planning to avoid them. 2. Company in which everything is done on the hoof as a matter of course; most companies. (see Pants, fly by the seat of our; SNAFU)

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Posted in Bullshit | Tagged SNAFU

Acumen, commercial:

Posted on December 26, 2012 by Kevin

Acumen, commercial: 1. Smart business intelligence. 2. Judgment utterly warped by the filthy lucre; blind obsession with cash; money at all costs; an eye for a dollar; quality much prized in Finance Directors, who then spend all their time generating impenetrable spreadsheets that no one can fathom.

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Posted in Bullshit | Tagged Eye for a dollar, Spreadsheets

Activity, lack of, planned:

Posted on December 25, 2012 by Kevin

Activity, lack of, planned: 1. Planning or doing stuff. 2. Not planning or doing stuff; cleverly creating the appearance of activity when nothing much is really happening; calling a meeting to avoid having to do any proper work.

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Posted in Bullshit

Activation:

Posted on December 24, 2012 by Kevin

Activation: 1. Making something happen. 2. Pretending to make something happen, but not really doing much.

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Action list:

Posted on December 23, 2012 by Kevin

Action list: 1. A list of things to do. 2. A bird’s nest of jumbled notes shoved into a drawer. (see Snake’s honeymoon)

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Posted in Bullshit | Tagged Snake's honeymoon

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“Clear thinking needs clear talking. Kevin makes the link. Razor sharp, witty, and incisive.”
Max McKeown, author, Now and Adaptability
“A must-have book for any aspiring middle-manager. Kevin has captured perfectly the worst linguistic excesses of the business world in a way that is depressing, truthful, and very, very funny all at the same time.”
Mark Earls, author, Herd, and I’ll Have What She’s Having
“A must-have book for any aspiring middle-manager. Kevin has captured perfectly the worst linguistic excesses of the business world in a way that is depressing, truthful, and very, very funny all at the same time.”
Chris Carmichael, Head of Customer Marketing Nokia UK&I
“Kevin is cooking on gas with this exceptional deep-dive into the murky world of corporate speak that proves once and for all that the Emperor is indeed naked. This book is the dog’s bollocks.”
Chris Carmichael, Head of Customer Marketing Nokia UK&I
“An incisive and entertaining send-up of contemporary office life. Kevin Duncan’s Bullshit Dictionary is a great tool for anyone hoping to master the secret codes of modern business.”
Tamar Kasriel, author, Futurescaping
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Tom Berry, Head of Technology, Fleishman-Hillard
“Kevin Duncan has a winning way with words.”  
British Airways Business Life
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Rob Goffee, co-author, Why Should Anyone Work Here?
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Richard Hytner, Deputy Chairman, Saatchi & Saatchi Worldwide
“This dictionary collects our terribly loose custom in a catechism of cliché and an encomium of euphemism not merely to describe our dire contortions of the language and logic but to condemn them and shame us from using them.”  
Mark Earls, author, Herd, and I’ll Have What She’s Having
“Anyone who is bemused by the language used in their office may just find the answer in this book – in most other cases, it’ll prove an amusing distraction from work.”
Flybe Flight Time Magazine

Bullshit

1. The excreta of a large male bovine. 2. Technically endless supply of waffle and nonsense uttered in business meetings; cunning wordsmithery that is neither on the side of the false nor the truth; verbal expedience; the entire contents of this book. (see Bollocks, talking; Doughnut rather than the hole, it would be wise to concentrate on the; Obfuscation; Off the top of my head; Static; Talking out loud; Waffle; White noise; Word dump)

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ABC Achilles heel Agenda Aha Appraisal At the end of the day AWOL Ballistics Banana Bark into the wind Bazooka Beavers Bells and whistles BHAG Blue-sky thinking Blue touch Box of frogs Brain dump Bread & Butter Buck stops here Casting Challenger brand Chapter and verse Clapping like Seals Coleridge Control freak Cooking on gas Cook the books Coup d'etat Crash and burn CV Data dump Defending it like a Beaver Done deal Drop a Ricket Ducks in a row Easy as Empower Enablement End of play Enlighten me Eye for a dollar Falling off a log Fall short FAQs Fat lady FIFO Fiscal juggling Fish up a tree Flogging a dead horse Fog Foundations Frankly Full Monty FYI Goal-orientated Goggledegook Gottschaldt Grasping a fog Headcount Head Office Herring Hidden Agenda Horribly exposed Hymn Sheet Hype Innovation In the Bag Jelly to the Wall Jobsworth Lemon Light bulb Lion Literally Lose the plot Mantra Market-leading Maxed out Mission statement Nailing a jelly to the wall Need to Know Net net Niche Off-piste Outcomes Outputs Pan-global Panjandrum Piss-Pot Positioning Powwow proof of concept Push the boat out Push the envelope re-think Restricted Access Sales Period Seal Seals Shell-like Shit hits the fan Shove it SNAFU Snake's honeymoon Spreadsheets Stabbing seal with a banana Stick that Sucking up Swinging cuts Target Manager Think outside the box Timesheets Vision & Values Voodoo Wavelength Wildebeest Wildebeest in a row Wishy Washy World-beating

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